Thursday, May 17, 2012

Same as ever!!

Its been 10 months since I started working in this company. I have looked for so many ways to run out of this place but haven't been able to grasp an opportunity yet. Maybe I didn't try that much. So many people have already left this place, so many are ready to leave. I was the first among them who always knew that I had to leave. But I never tried. I don't know why, just that I never tried.
I have become more of an introvert than I ever was. I don't like talking to anyone, anymore. One of the worst feelings I ever had. It feels as if no one understands me anymore, Mummy, papa, sisters, friends, no one. Maybe its just a phase. But how long is it going to be and whether I will be able to survive and come out strong, I really doubt.
I gave GATE. Didn't get the expected score. That leaves me with no guts to give GRE and TOEFL. And all the job search, that too is going in vain. There must be some way out of all this. I am still searching for it. That courage and determination to win is lost somewhere. I sometimes think if I was just a charlatan in college and all the years before that who turned out to be a big loser as he stepped out into the real world.
My mom says that God answers all prayers someday. I don't understand why is he trying to be sclerotic to my wishes.

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