Dream of dreaming

I left my job for a better life in the March of 2013. I applied to some good colleges assured that I would land up with some great admits by the end of May, and fly away for something better by June. Life went on peacefully since then. Wasting time at home, going out, partying, knowing that I had got very less time before I start a new life. And then slowly, time passed, and I couldn't manage a single admit. I wasn't disappointed. I had this planned. I frantically started applying for jobs. Living in a small city, I had always had internet as my best friend. Applying to large number of jobs online, I was sure I would land up with a lot of interview calls by June. Nothing has happened yet.  I am bored of wasting time now. But I have now turned so futile, that I don't or rather can't do anything now. I used to be good at everything, but now I seem to be good at nothing...
Life sometimes plays weird pranks on you. You leave something just fine to catch something better and you end up having the worst. The world of dreams is not that easy to achieve. It requires some hard work but a lot of luck. I dream a lot, most of the dreams; I don't know very well how to work around for them.

Dreaming about the city of Dreams

The city of Gardens, you have deceived me for 6 years now. I sometimes tend to believe that I did engineering so that I could have a chance to live in the city of gardens.There is something about the city that

has intrigued me since I was a child. The greenery, the technology, the crowd, the temples; i don't know exactly. I even tend to think about the meekest job, the bleakest possibility or opportunity I get to reach Bengaluru, but it always evades me in the end. Whenever I have been to Bangalore, I seem to have enjoyed my stay there. I don't know when I am going to get a chance to get there but surely I am going to grab the opportunity with both hands.

Sad Frustrated Irritated!!

I couldn't get an admit in any of the colleges I had applied to.  I had resigned from my job for this. Now I am sitting totally jobless, not knowing what to do in future. Sometimes I feel that life tends to teach me lessons the hard way. The first step towards anything I try always tends to be misplaced. But is it life that teaches lessons to someone the hard way or is it the lethargic ways we treat our own life in.
I have always had this problem with myself. I tend to take for granted every new thing I start in life, be it a career goal or a friendship/ I tend to get bored easily. In other words, my saturation point in reached easily. I used to think earlier that it happens with all of us but now things seem to differ. People have matured. They have started taking their career seriously,their goals seriously, they even take people seriously. Is it a kick they suddenly get some day suddenly, or is it time which teaches it to them. Both the scenarios seem to be untrue in my case, I haven't received a kick yet nor am I maturing with time. And if life is trying to teach me a lesson, I seem to be very bad at it and have not really grasped anything yet. I can just wait for the bad days to end and some bright days to start.

3 Mistakes of My life

I have been struggling to be stable for some time now. I believe that I have somehow managed to see a lot of both good and bad phases in a short span of time. A long life is still left. But there are some mistakes I have made which I might never repeat again. A few of them are:
1. Money is not important
Once you finish your grads and land into a number of job offers, you are mostly attracted to the more monetarily lucrative offer. This seems good at that point of time considering that you had been undergoing the "more time less money"  syndrome till now, but this will prove to be pretty wrong in the long run. Its better to have a "plenty of time and plenty of money" syndrome in your life.
2. No one can love you more than your family not even friends
This lesson was learned the hard way, or rather I am still learning about it. During your times of need, most of the people around you vanish away. Only the true friends remain to support you. But the ones who actually hold you are your family. Try discussing even the smallest trouble in your life with me. Even if they can't provide you with a solution, they will make sure you stay afloat.Girlfriends/Boyfriends and love are usually a myth. Don't rum after them. If you believe in luck or kismat, let your kismat play a role in such matters.
3. Pursue your dreams
If you ever had a dream, don't just leave it aside. Start working on it. I regret not able to work earlier on with what I want in life, diverging from the path and not able to move back towards it. Once you start deterring, it would be very very difficult to get back on course. A time will come when you will think of staying happy with what you have achieved and will stop working towards your goals. I have seen people who lost hope. I don't want to suffer the same fate ever. If you want to be a painter, be a painter; don't be attracted by what the boring architect's job is paying you.

I do write...

I do write. And I write pretty well...
Its just the genuine stuff though. But I write pretty well...
I don't boast much. Nor do i try to sell random stuff...
But I do write. And I write pretty well..
I seem to not know much about what they write..
What they write is too complicated for me. But I do write..
I am not a connoisseur, but i write pretty well...
I am not that much into fiction and fantasy,
Nor am i a critic or a poet.. But I write..
I write my heart out..
I write what I feel..
I write whats in my mind. 
I write what shouldn't be in it.
And mind you, I do write pretty well..

I do care...

I do care for all that happens
To you and me, all that happens.
Though i can't express it well,
I do care when any such thing happens.

I might appear to be self-absorbed,
but believe me I am not.
Not a hedonist I am,
 just the master of my soul i am.

Your smile gives me joy.
Pain struck I am on seeing you sad.
Today you are sad, and i know that,
but i take a step back,
coz you dnt  feel that i would care...

Season 3- Diary of a confused hedonist

Its the advent of exam season in India. Exams that make or break the career of people.   Exams that confuse the already confused people. You receive calls daily from several unknown colleges in India and abroad asking you to join their universities. You see people around you trying hard. They wasted the whole year doing something else, but now they want to study. Amongst all this, there is this oen YOU.
The YOU guy wasted the whole year just like others, movies, sleeping, facebook, and what not. But now unlike others, he is still wasting his time. He is good at planning things for himself, making study plans and time tables for the next holiday. All of it goes in vain as soon as that holiday arrives and he involves himself in the usual obstinate things.
But the problem is his incongruous path. While most people themselves throw light on the path they choose, he has other people illuminating his path. He possible doesn't have the diffidence to light a torch himself or doesn't have enough resources to illuminate the path himself. Or maybe he doesn't want to defy the worldly pleasures which have made him into his current insolent self.
Only if there was a Decalogue he could follow, life would have been much much simpler....