Life at the job

Each and every person around e knows how happy I am with my job and how desperately I want to run from this place. I have four options as of now.

1) Give GATE,hope for a good score, fill form for PSUs and switch jobs.
2) Give GATE, hope for a good score, give TOEFL, apply to some foreign universities for M.S.
3) Give GATE, give TOEFL, and then give GRE. Getting a good one in GRE would guarantee me a seat somewhere for M.S.
4) Give GATE, hope for a good score, do M.Tech.

For any of these, I need to start working hard. I am trying to work hard. But the motivation is missing some where. My desperation still doesn't give me an alarm or some sort of jerk to work harder. Just one more month is left for GATE. Lets see whats going to happen.

I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL

3 years!!!

18th Jan, 2012
Its been almost three years since I posted my 1st blogpost. Still zero followers, still no-one who reads my blog. Well, that was expected. I dont remember much of the day i Started writing this blog though.. I started two more blogs after I forgot the password to this one. But, at some later stage, I managed to forget the password of the pther pages too and could manage to retrieve only this password. Although I cant edit any of the posts on this other blog http://sentiblogger.blog.com/ it is one of my fav blogs since I seem to have written this blog in a special state of mind, which I might not achieve ever again. And being pretty sure that I am not going to forget the password to this blog, I can go back to reading the sentiblogger page whenever I would wish to read my memoirs in the future.

Friends...

A and N... two names which are turning out to be very important to me. I seem to have learned a lot from these two people. A is one person who always wants to be in contact with every person he has ever met. He knows what responsibility is and how sometimes you have to sacrifice the smaller goods for the bigger gifts. I have tried so much to learn this quality watching him. Its been such a long time. But I am still in the learning phase.
N... She has such energy in her voice which seems to work magic when you are in a bad mood. I was never that good friends with her. After college ended I realized that having such a cheerful friend in your life can be such an important thing. There is always this one number you will dial and will hear a cheerful voice from the other end. Her childish forgetful nature makes her a more interesting person to talk to.
If I could have these two people close to me... I could have had the whole world for myself.

My birthday!!

December the 14th.. I wait eagerly for the whole year since... since the time I can remember. This is the first time I am not at all excited about it. It just feels like its going to be just another day. Except some tension somewhere. And its about something which I am almost excited about. The way people are going to celebrate my birthday, the phone calls I am going to attend. I don't want anyone here to celebrate my birthday. I don't want anyone to call me. I just want to stay in and maybe sleep tight. But what you always wish for, doesn't happen, does it?
I removed my birth date from Facebook records. Initially I thought I just wanted to see how many people remember it on their own. But now I feel as if everyone wants to wish me happy birthday!!
December the 14th changed my life last year. After all the troubles I faced initially I finally felt that I had got a kick start. And that too a big one. But life has taken drastic turns ever since. Things don't seem to workout the way they had been imagined by me.
It all changed on December the 14th. Can it all change again? Whats going to happen on December the 15th. Yes, thats whats worrying me... I just want time to pause here, at this very moment... But time it is...!!!

Here I am, sitting in my office at 19:30hrs. Never in life had I thought that I would agree to stay in office for 12 straight hours, for three straight days, and that too without any work at hand, with just a file to carry and take down some readings. But that, ofcourse, is life. You always tend to do stuff which you never thought you would. I used to mock at friends who used to do overtime, and they actually did work during those 3-4 hours. The reasons I do do overtime are just three; leaves, to earn some goodwill and to forget about other unimporatnt things. Leaves do count since I exhausted all my allowed leaves during the first 3 months. And I am someone who desperately needs leaves in his account to laze around every few days. Goodwill, yes. My seniors here think that I am just another lazy, non-technical, I dont care, person who, after getting a job, doesn't really care about whats happening around. Though frankly speaking, I dont care much about the job, I do care about my impression on the people around me, and specially someone who might have some impact on my future. And yes, to show them that I can handle bigger responsibilities if given a chance. Indian companies and bosses believe that only a person with vast and diversified experience can handle their duties efficiently. They obviously can, but a fresh graduate can too, if you give him a chance to prove it. Instead of finding shortcomings in everything we do, they can very well try to point out one good thing I achieved in the work alloted. But that, sir, rarely happens. The third point, to forget about unimportant things. When you fool around, and are totally jobless, you tend to think about 'othr things'. These thoughts rarely help. They, mostly, tend to cause more damage. These are three straight days when I havent done anything wrong on that end, since I was too preoccupied to think about those other things'. A workplace always gives you different and more important things to think about. And yes, your bills are reduced drastically. A friend just called me for dinner at Dominos. But since I have to be in office, I can't go out for dinner. Yippee!! I saved 300 bucks..

end sems!!

another sem is abt to come to an end for me... aroud the same tym as the ipl ends n india's new pm takes oath...

its been really tough this tym.. loosing it out in sudies... life and everything else...

n now as the end sems approACH i m in no real mood to study.. i hav an exam tomorrow n here i m blogging for "no-one" baad mein sirf main hi aake padhne waala hun..

but i lyk tht.. reading my memoirs!!!

blogging is tough.. i m not at all good at it to attract people.. n i dont evn knw how to do tht...

but i lyk writing .. so this is it..